way overdue good

So I finally realized that i never specified the changes in my life between 2008 I think and the recent posts.

I found someone. :) The happiest moment for me...whas that day. It was summer 2009 when my neighbor came by. I was outside on the back porch smoking a cig and reading with coffee. He stopped by to say hi to the little one. She was inside watching a movie and surprisingly couldnt be bothered to see him that day. Lol which is surprising if you knew her history with him.

I've known this man for six years. He's been my neighbor. My house backdoor faces his. We used to be outside summers for cook outs and he'd be working on his motorcycle outside or off riding on it. He'd always stop by to say hi to the kids. He's great with kids. Kylie adored him from about the time she was 1.

To explain something about my daughter too. She hated most men. On days me and her dad would fight she hated all men. Would scream whenever one even looked at her. Even her dad. Especially him really. But on those days....if she saw Randy. She would light up. She adored him completly...recognized the sound of his work truck coming home....would run to ask to go say hi....he was always so kind. He always had a min to spare for her. He was an almost friend. That all changed starting that summer day.

He came by to see her...she was too busy as 2 year olds are. So we chatted a bit. I offered him coffee. He stayed for about an hour. I admit I already knew I had a crush on him since moving home. I was half in love him with just like my kid lol. I adored him and felt so bad for how his home life was.

he had been married for 11 years to a cold unfaithful bitch. Stole money from him. cheated on him...Had him running around in circles trying to make her happy...all the while... she did nothing for him. He hurt his back one day on his quad. was laid up in bed for a few days. She didnt even come offer him water or anything. She thought he deserved it for "playing". That was his life.

That day...he told me he finally had enough. He was getting a divorce. Let me tell you when he said that I felt my heart jump shouting "yes! I can make you happy...gimme a chance. :) " lol then I calmed that bit down and stopped myself. lol I got control. We talked for about an hour and a half. He asked me my opinion on his hair cut. He had long hair before down to his mid back. He had cut it short and spiky for the first time in years. I was drooling over it. He looked hot! I told him so. It kinda jumped out before I could think and change the word hot to it looks great or something. A tad embarassing...guess I didnt have as much control as I thought.

so summer passed into fall and we talked here and there...just a friendly quick chit chat if we happened to pass on our day. If I was outside when he came home...which i usually managed to be...me and girly both went flying to the door when we heard that truck. He always made us smile. Espeially when girly wanted to say hi. He told me he might be moving. And I told him girly would love it if we could keep in touch. Yeah Im a sucker I used my kid. But I gave him my number and he gave me his. Said he def. wanted to do that. I couldnt ever figure out if he was interested in me or not. I know hes basically been seperated from his ex for 1yr by this point. Even though they still lived together they never spoke basic roomates. Seperate rooms no contact. Every time we saw him we just chatted about random things. over the years he had heard my horror story with my ex. And I heard his. We spoke about what we wanted out of a relationship. We just clicked. Had a lot of the same views.

Then october came around. His ex wife had moved out. the divorce was in process. He was free of her for sure. We chatted about that and girly told him about the cake she wanted for her birthday. She was so excited...she was getting a princess castle cake. When she wandered out of ear shot he insisted he wanted to buy her cake. He wanted to get her a little something she wanted. And since that excited her. That was it. I tried to deny him. It was $40 thats a freaking lot for a present. But as I said he insisted. It was sweet. so i let him. Telling myself I wouldnt remind him or ask for the money for it when the time came to order it at the end of the month.

weeks passed and i didnt see much of him. It was the day before halloween. I was sitting outside. and his truck roars by....he hits in in reverse and pulls in my driveway. I walk down to meet him as he gets out. He hands me money and apoligizes for waiting so long he knows her birthday is days away. Tells me hes been busy with work and thats why I havent seen him. I invited him to the party before...so he tells me he is going to make it. He just has to work early morning but will be home in time to stop by. Tells me theres a little something extra in there for money can I pick her up a little something from him please. Only if I have to go out. Otherwise I can take her after her party.

I had already put the money in my pocket so I didnt realize how much he had given me. Said I was glad we would see him at the party. I go inside to find out he had just handed me $80 total. $40 for a cake and $40 for her other "lasting" present as he called it. My heart melted that he would do that for my kid. I remeber asking my sister...do you think that means he likes me if he'll do that for her. I dunno lol. I was silly schoolgirl mess.

Halloween night comes around. We take the kdis trick or treating. Its about 10 pm and im outside smoking a cig. Just heard the song "tonights gonna be a good night" feeling slightly amped. I finally get the guts to send him a quick text. I txt him "omg you are too sweet. thanks again for doing that for girly. You didnt have to do that. :) " He calls right after the text goes through. We chat a bit he goes on to say its no big dea what not....Then he asks if girlies still awake. Can he say hi....I say sure she is...shed love to see him...so then. I dash inside wake her up and throw on her coat and slippers and head out back to meet him to say hi. LMAO I know. I know...I am sucha mean mom to wake her up. She pays me back daily for those few times.

We're out back talking only a few short moments and all of a sudden it starts to rain. Im thinking shit this stinks. I woke her up for nothing...But he invites us inside. We go inside and since his ex decided to be a total bitch and take everything...the main floor of the house was empty of everything...even paintings on the wall. SO we go upstairs to sit on his bed so girlie can watch cartoons while we talk.

Having a grand ole time he gives her some pops to eat. She starts slamming her hand in the bowl cause she likes seeing the spray everywhere, more than she likes eating them. Im like oh no...shes making a mess. Embarassed...I lunge to stop her....His response....he slams his hand in the bowl and makes a bigger mess. lol. I dropped then too. Me and Kylie are hysterical at all this. Then I decide to be an adult again and start cleaning. His bed....which mind you is about 3 feet off the ground. Its a big bed. So I innocently lean over the side to try to pick up pops without getting up...and somehow...I dunno what happened. But I started to fall. Of course he caught me. Caught me around the back slid his hand down my back to my butt to make sure I was steady enough. Of course it was only for support. lol... smooth move on both parts :)

Then we do the whole cheesy he tickles me and I use it as a way to get into his arms laying down on the bed. We kiss...words cant describe. One thing eventually led to the other which perhaps was not good. But it had been so long for both of us. ANd girlie was conviently watching cartoons in the other room. By the end of it my legs were shaking. (Side note: sorry TMI I know....but I need to write everything somewhere. My blog My rules) :)

I Stayed until about 4 am that day he only got an hour sleep before work. We were up talking and enjoying eachothers company. It was def. the best night of my life.

I saw him briefly on my back porch the next night. I was nervous I didnt know what to think. We hadnt said anything about what had happened between us that first night I went to his house. I didnt know what he thought. Though he had always told me he would never mess around with a single mom without being sure. You just dont do that he said. The next day was girlies party. He didnt make it home in time :(

He was pissed at his customer for keeping him so late. Girly got to thank him for her presents "he" got her. A movie and a pony house. He stayed for about an hour or so and then went home. We still hadnt talked. Then thats when I figured I had to move again lol. I asked girlie if she wanted to watch the movie she got from Randy with him. She says no mom I want to watch it here. SO I say fine. Ok! Thats good cause you cant watch it with him anyways. Of course anything you tell a just newly turned 3 year old she cant do....omg she bawled her eyes out. But mom I want to watch it with him. SO I say ok being the great mom that I am :p I tell her we will call him and when i do he answers on the first ring. I tell him girlie wants to ask him something. SO she gets on the phone with him. "Randy can I watch my new movie with you at your house?" aww...how cute I tell him. She came up with the idea all on her own. What a smart girl >.> <.< lol ...So of course he says yes. Come right over Ill be down to open the door in second. We spend another night there. Up til 2 am this time. Which shortly begun with a conversation once again about what we expected out of a relationship. Then as Im laying in his arms. He turns to me and says so how bout it? What do you think? Do you wanna be my girl? I got a silly little smile on my face and nodded and barely said yes of course.

The early days were filled with giddy anticipation. Seeing him talking to him. Telling my mom and my sister. I was on cloud nine. I used to sit on the kitchen counter when he cooked for us. He would turn on the raido and sing to me. Though he very rarely sings the actual words to the song. He kinda makes up his own. It was so easy to spend every night with him till the wee hours of the morning. I dont know how he functioned at work those days. lol.

I moved in rather quickly. Spent most nights there and then in late Jan. I moved in officially. I love every wrestle match. Every nerf gun war...every water fight. Every movie night. Every late night talk. I love his son. I love that his son has been a big part of our lives already too. That Kylie first chose to call Randys son her brother...then quickly started calling Randy daddy.

Though it has been a long road already. and because of both our pasts sometimes...we stumble a bit on our road together. But he gets me...in a way no one else ever has. He has faced parts of my past and loved me for them. He has been my strength through some trying times. He is mi corazon. My heart and soul. And it doesnt hurt that my whole family loves him too.

So our story continues. as I said sometimes we stumble....but we keep moving on together....I dream of where our story might go...though I get scared sometimes...I still dream