SO I used to think I never dreamed of a wedding. I grew up my whole life....Never dreaming of what my wedding would be like. I always dreamed about kids though. But it seems as if I knew at that young age. SOme things were not meant for me.
I dream now though. Its that wishful dream. Where it terrifies you to the core. You want it so bad, but are afraid to hope. He's the only guy Ive ever felt this way about. Wishful dreams... right!?
If he does ask me to marry him though, he better make sure its forever. Make sure that he's not just gonna try and jump ship at the first time of trouble. See now, this is where it gets hard. I dont know if he's ever gonna want to get married again. So many things I dream of now....I think I liked it better when I didnt think I deserved to dream....THen it wasnt so painful as it is now. Then I knew in my soul....I wasnt going to be happy....I thought i didnt deserve to be.
Now I know. I deserve the best...my daughter deserves the best. SO theres so many new dreams floating out of all this. That it makes me want to run for cover most days. But when one tiny one of those dreams comes true. It makes it all worth while. If only I could chose the dreams to be real.....
*sigh* whispered dreams
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