I wish

with all that is going on between bo and me right now…with all that is stressed between us…God how I wish I could turn back time to save him from this heartach…I wish I could turn back time and heal the wounds between him and his dad…I had the chance too…I got his dad’s number from his sister…I was planning on calling him and trying to get him to make the effort to call Bo…but I just never got around to it…

honestly that is one of the things killing me right now…I wish I had tried that sooner…before the chance was lost. Yeah I know it wasnt my fault…but i had a chance to do something…or rather to try something to at least make a difference….and now it is too late.

So I sit here…helpless….wishing I could heal the pain in Bo’s heart right now…wishing I could turn back time…and give them one more day together…one more day to make things right…to say I love you…to say goodbye.

death is so hard to handle…but it kills me that there is nothing I can do or say to make him feel better…to make him stop hurting…

I love him so much…even with the bad times….I love him…I dont want to see him hurt…I would rather die myself than to see him hurt anymore…he cries on the inside…doesnt show the pain…and I cry on the outside…cause I wish I could take it all away