Hey God its me again...

Same old story God. It kinda really hurts. The pain is echoing off every wall and hidden crevice of my heart. To give anything to go back to the begining....to cherish one more laugh one more long day snuggling. Ouch! Too much now,


I keep going back between tears and hollowness. Between being resigned...and knowing you've already made your choice. I guess somewhere in the darkness there still whispers that small dream....for once it'd be me. Im sorry. Im sorry I was not enough to make you happy. Im sorry I ever first kissed you. You made me believe in a future. In the promise of forever. Forever came too soon.

I wish you the best in life, in love, in friendship. Good luck on your job interview. Im sure you'll do well in NJ. Thanks for letting me know ahead of time. Looks like you figured your way out after all. Thanks for using me. You could have bypassed the kiss goodnight the saying I love you...the sex. While planning this behind my back the whole time. You could have been more than that. But thank you. I am already getting a little bit stronger...

Please dont spare much thought for me and her. We will be fine. We've always got eachother. Shes already survived one dad walking out on her. Now we know. I wont risk her poor heart again. Not for anyone.

So this is it huh? All those days led up to this. They say better to have loved and lost....I disagree now. Can I go back please? To before you....you promised not to break my heart...You broke every promise you ever made me...

At least you'll finally have your space and privacy....you can focus on your son. Again I wish you the best...even through the pain