I realized today…or maybe last night…that i am slightly jealous of my own daughter…I dont hold it against her…its not that kind of jealousy…is it even jealousy though…maybe it could more be described as envy…those words are so easy for him to say to her…he says it on a daily basis…but still i never hear them…I never hear him say …I love you
It’s a sad feeling whatever word you use to describe it…and it makes me wonder sometimes…why is it so hard for you to say…If you did….so I get the feeling …that you really dont.
My heart hurts…this gaping hole is getting bigger the more and more I think about things…the more I realize things are not how I wish they could be… No matter how many happy days we have now…they never truly feel happy to me…cause I know not too far away…these feelings will creep back up on me…
I dont feel like you love me for me… I think you love me only for her sake
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