forever and always

Taylor Swift: Forever and always...... thats what comes to mind now-a-days. Dunno why Im feeling like this really. Actually I do. I know its depression. But the root of all fears is valid. Thats what my depression is. Its fear. Too good to be true. I get so scared it makes me want to just stop. Stop caring...stop feeling....stop loving...even stop laughing. Because as much as laughter is good. It just makes the pain that much harder to bear because through the pain you remember how good it could be and it kills to think you may never feel that again. Never feel.... would I miss it? Just drop everything and disappear. A new life. no strings...no worries. Me and me alone for the long ride. Do I dream of it. but so many things hold onto me. Mainly that little angel who is so defiant...so stubborn and smart. So adorable lovable and sweet. She has my heart strings forever. That girl is what keeps me going. Always has been. Even before she was born. I wanted her. Maybe thats why this isnt so easy anymore....because in reality we are only allowed one dream come true in life. And she was mine. Im good with that. I am a surviver....a fighter....I will cope. For her...always and forever for her. Still small picture in my mind. A lifetime forever...hand in hand. You could be the one for us. And it terrifies me....more than you could ever know.